LuvIn "The Holidays"

I recently had a conversation with a great male friend of mine, about the stress, anxiety, despondence and a sense of disconnect many people experience as “the holidays” (you know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s) roll around. Children, particularly those living in temporary situations such as foster care or a dysfunctional environment, experience heightened  anxiety during “the holiday” season.  But they are basically powerless to do anything about their situation; so my friend and I focused on adults.

We discussed the true meaning of each holiday (yes, we got into the history and economics of it all; don’t get me wrong - I love healthy consumerism, especially entrepreneurialism!) and that celebrating The Lord, new resolutions, gratitude and being with family and friends during “the holidays” should not be occasions of heavy stress but opportunities to experience “the gift of giving”.  So as my friend and I talked, I shared the following excerpt from my book about how I got past anxiety and loneliness I used to feel during “the holidays” post-college, and living on my own as a young adult: 

“I extended the practice of (selfless service) to my community especially during the holidays.  I developed the habit of bringing food to a homeless person on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas.  I can’t describe the immense satisfaction I got from making a contribution like this to others in need....There’s something very powerful about feeding others....Very soon, holidays were no longer a source of loneliness or a reminder of the pain I’d suffer as a child longing to spend the time with her own biological family....Still one of the most important lessons I discovered is that the separation from my biological family and the events that followed, were blessings on the yellow-brick-road toward a life of learning and joy”.

                        - From Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto

                                     and God was something called foster care...., pgs 56-57.

I had discovered what it really means to experience the gift of giving. For me the gift of giving is an indescribable sense of peace and satisfaction.

Thank you for reading.

~ Quelyn, Author of

    Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care...

 

FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

….and bookstores everywhere!

Copyright©2012 Quelyn Purdie

An Almost Krispy Kreme Birthday

Just days before my birthday I’m gleefully on my way to the back to withdraw funds to pay a bill,  only to discover my account was actually overdrawn.  My heart skipped a beat; WTF????!!!!!

I immediately contacted my bank which explained they had assessed a levy fee against my account and instructed me to contact the agency that served the order. 

I walked away from the ATM machine in a daze but I remember thinking two things as I walked down the block on the breezy, but warm evening, towards the nearest subway on 42nd street: 1) to keep breathing...and don't get hit by a damn car!  2) and get home to safety, to a place of calm, a place where I could regroup and think rationally.  

As I sat on the train home I wondered ‘What if they come after my wages?!’  ‘Am I going to make it?’  Suddenly I felt a dull pain creep upward from base of my head and spreading its fingers, grabbed the back of my head like a basketball player would palm a spalding!

I closed my eyes and began to breathe deeply and evenly while massaging my neck.  As I breathed , healthier thoughts came up: ‘Ok what DO I have right NOW; ‘What IS possible?’ ‘What am I GRATEFUL for NOW?’  Well:

I am grateful to still be breathing, there are a few people in my life who love me, I am on my way to a safe (and nice place) I call home, I am surrounded by folks on this train who could be a source of help in case I actually do fall out!  I AM important and a productive human being who still has innovative ideas and work to contribute....I do believe in the power of God....’

By the time I got home I had a plan of action - I reached out to my accountant who was very helpful and I reached out to a few friends.  Ok I just need to interject something here:  some of y/our friends or folks (we) thought would be sympathetic or understanding, turn out to be the complete opposite - impatient, suspicious, judgemental, even to the point of questioning (the effect of) y/our faith. I used to get very incensed at this but now I realize it’s unproductive and that my job is to understand my own situation and role and responsibility in the matter.  Furthermore I realize the value of my friendship could have diminished.  I still have to give MYSELF a chance, remain focused and move forward. 

Anyway, the next morning, I called the agency that served the garnishment order and within minutes I setup payment arrangements.

And I had one of the most memorable and fabulous birthdays ever.

Thank you for reading.

~ Quelyn, Author of

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care...

 FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

….and bookstores everywhere!

 

 

Copyright©2012 Quelyn Purdie

How Macbeth Changed My Attitude!

Did you see The Theatre of Scotland’s innovative  production of Macbeth at Jazz at Lincoln Center?  The production was part of the 2012 Lincoln Center Festival and featured Alan Cumming as Macbeth...and other major characters (Lady Macbeth, King Duncan, Banquo and Macduff)...on a stage transformed into a mental hsopital!

The run: 9 shows AND a Saturday matinee, every performance sold-out, 1hour and 45 minutes.  Cumming’s tour-de-force  performances unfailingly ended each evening between 9:15p and 9:20pm....and received a standing ovation, each and every night.

One evening, before entering the theatre to take their seats, a handsome male & female couple inquired about whether they’d be out in time to catch the 9:30pm Charlie McBride  set at Dizzy’s Club Coca-Cola, which is located in Jazz at Lincoln Center (you really have to go!).  The moment I uttered the promise that the couple would have plenty of time to see Charlie McBride, I realized a major attribute of power or to be powerful....TIME, the ability to be on time.

The day before I worked the Macbeth finale I had an appointment near 14^th Street-Union Square.  As I departed the shuttle train and walked through the artsy tunnel that leads to the Lexington Avenue line, I suddenly felt a deep sense of depression, which is truly rare for me but I think all the shit i went through in the past few months, in particular and in the past year in general, caught me “off-guard”.  Like Macbeth’s character, this can be insanity if left unchecked!  Anyway, although my feet were physically moving quickly each step seemed as though I was walking through 3 feet of water, my chest felt squished and i felt my shoulders droop.  

So as I quick-schlepped my way through the tunnel my eyes caught a glimpse of an ad for Duracell batteries.  The ad featured a tight close-up shot of Jay-Z and the words “Never Be Powerless” were etched across his beautiful face, with his signature lips.  Whatever the time measurement shorter than a second, it all happened so fast; I didn’t have time to think or process the experience, all I know is that my body felt about 20 pounds lighter, I felt a smirk sneak across my lips and the enthusiasm  of who I truly am was back! 

Never be powerless.

The next evening, the night of the Macbeth finale, I had the pleasure of riding the elevator with Alan Cumming to the floor where dressing rooms and staff lockers are.  As we chatted for the approximately 30-second ride, he was really cool! You would probably pass right by him on the street - he wore shorts, sandals, a shirt, cool shades and a cool hat...he was “cool” like us New Yorkers!  Yet as exhausting as his incredible performances might have been, he never cheated the audience, he signed autographs, and showed up for all receptions related to the show. 

I contemplated my experiences and my own attitude about time.  What came up for me was that when I am given the hour to be somewhere or to do something by a certain time, it is the opportunity to experience my own power - the power to show up, the power to be counted on.

By the way, I was about 11 minutes early for my appointment.

Thank you for reading.

 
~ Quelyn, Author of
Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care...

FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

….and bookstores everywhere!

Copyright©2012 Quelyn Purdie

For The Men Who "Take Care".....

Father's Day is all the time....and all the time (especially for those of you who are steeped in a faith!) is Father's Day!

For the most part I had a great relationship with my father.  I guess that’s a major reason why I don’t view men as “dogs”.  Growing up I used to think my dad was a superhero....MY superhero. So, I never had to 'wait for superman'.

I appreciate the great ones, including my male friends, who, in today’s uncertain-yet-possibility-laced-world, accept accountability for their children’s well-being and/or the well-being of other family members and those in their community....perhaps you became a 'second dad' or 'uncle' to the young man/men/young women who lost their own dad or other father figure. I salute YOU.

And to my male friends, who - whether through your profession or as a friend - were benevolent towards me during some of the most challenging times of my life (I guess I'd be in the "community" category LOL), with sincere gratitude I share the following poem entitled A Father’s Day Song.

A Father’s Day Song is reprinted from my (entirely) self-published book of poems entitled Sacred Blues. I produced the 50-page book in 2001 and I am debating whether or not to have it reproduced and published. In the meantime, I hope you like A Father’s Day Song.

when my days seem dark as night, Daddy

and my spirit is low
I think of all the good time we had
and night becomes a rainbow!
 
Dad
I had no doubt that you could abundantly
educate, feed me or quench my thirst

you taught me how to be a lady

you taught me how to drive
you said never act shady
and you taught me how to strive
 

when my days seem dark as night

and my spirit is low
I think of all the good times we had
and night becomes a rainbow!

when I gave into temptation and did wrong

you taught me how to be strong
when I was choosing the wrong kind of fella
you always said, “Princess! You can do even better!”
 

and Dad, despite all the pain

you went through in this world because
you are a “Brother,”
you still taught me that true love has no color!
 

I will die loving you

when my days seem dark as night

and my spirit is low
I think of all the good times we had
and night becomes a rainbow!

I think of all the good times we had Daddy
and night becomes a rainbow!

 HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...ALL THE TIME!

~ Quelyn, Author of

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care...
  

FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

….and bookstores everywhere!

Copyright©2012 Quelyn Purdie

A Mother's Day...Forever

This month’s blog is dedicated to mothers who have supported, coached and/or guided me during a most challenging time of my life in the past year ~

             Ms. Banks, Clara, Evelyn, Janis, Kia, Lizan, Mrs. Langhorn, Ms. Powell, Soo, Suzanne, Yvette …

 …..THINGS nor words can capture who you are for me.  I love you.

And to my clients – mothers who trust/ed me to successfully teach their children and expand their enthusiastic minds – YOU are an inspiration for rising everyday!  

So it is with sincere gratitude and obligation to share the following poem entitled Mother’s Day...Forever.  It is reprinted from my (entirely) self-published book of poems entitled S acred B lues. I produced the 50-page book in 2001 and I am debating whether or not to have it reproduced and published.  In the meantime, I hope you like Mother’s Day...Forever.

It is said when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

Mama your heart was the mixing bowl
and prayer was your spoon.
Your lips were juicy lemons
laced with honey and spice,
each and every kiss
shattered nightmares of vice.

So like a water-colored rose
that bathes in the sun’s warm rays
my life becomes a garden as my own love unfolds
my life becomes a garden as my own love unfolds.

I drank Mama’s secret potion
in the backyard shade.
I knew, without a doubt,
her love was disguised
as lemonade
because

I danced in ecstasy
consumed by the fire of purpose and creativity.

Salutations to you, Mother
whose Songs to the Lord
we may never fathom.
Salutations to you, Mother,
whose smile illumines the entire universe.

Mother
let me adorn you head to toe
with a garland of lotus flowers
plucked from my heart
where you taught me to roam
and my mind feels at home.

I inhale deep
breathe out long
Mother, I am the legacy of
your Royal Blue Song!
Salutations to you, Mother
whose love is Forever!

 ~ Quelyn, Author of

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care...

 FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

….and bookstores everywhere!

Copyright©2012 Quelyn Purdie

2012: Droppin' D.R.A.G.!

Not drag as in queen.  I’m talking about a different kind of drag…..

The 5 or 6 months before 2012 was DRAG and excruciatingly intense for me in the area of housing…yes, I had my own private intensive.

There were all kinds of inner “bells and whistles” about the arrangement and person(s) I was about to encounter…on two separate back-to-back occasions!  In each instance I second-guessed my intuition - “gut feelings” “hunch” or inner voice - and gave the person “the benefit of the doubt”.  I’d thought, ‘Nah, so and so is cool’ or ‘Nah, everything is fine…I’m just being negative!’

And I ended up feeling D.R.A.G.:

D espondent – pessimistic, miserable, hopeless

R esigned – for a moment, I accepted that I was a total fuck up; a loser
A ngry – absolutely livid at those I trusted would treat me fairly   (Ha!)
G iven up – so, frankly, I feared what would become of me (the stress began to affect my sense of sanity and health – I had a chest cold…for several months!). ‘Why don’t I just drop everything, RUN out of town and not say a word to anyone…for a looooong while?!’ I’d thought.

However, I surrounded myself with a few people I knew and would allow me to share my experiences and to just ventilate…and they truly heard me.  Sometimes all anyone needs is to be heard.  

Anyway, once I removed myself from the toxic environments and moved into a friend’s apartment (no “bells and whistles” went off on this one!), I took some time to contemplate* my experiences. Three things came up for me: 1) I had to accept accountability for my decisions which led to the negative or unfavorable responses by the “players” in my “drama” all because  I had not trusted and respected my intuition or inner voice that would stop me from the impending catastrophe I created for myself.  2) I discovered that I feared the clarity and accuracy of my own intuition  3) Choose joy….now!

I physically began to feel better and I experienced a sense of gratitude and joy about my life.  My unwise decisions and repercussions no longer stifled who I am and creative possibilities:

i flew out of my own hell so fast

i didn’t have to think, analyze, conceptualize
nor theorize HOW
i was released.
i was released from myself back
to my Self.

It’s 2012.  Drop D.R.A.G, Choose Joy!    ~ Wishing you the very best, Quelyn

Author of memoir:

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care…. 

 

FOR APPEARANCES, BOOK SIGNINGS & TALKS CONTACT:

The Butterfly Book Tour™Team / beyondlabelz@yahoo.com

Validation Denied Grace Bestowed is available at

iUniverse.com, (812)330-2909 or (800) 288-4677

*Contemplation -  a deep reflection on a question or idea and the natural “answer” that arises from within oneself.

Copyright©2011 Quelyn Purdie